In a nutshell, all those qualities that make him unfit for the job will pretty much guarantee we'll stay in the EU. But why? There are three reasons I wanted Boris to be Prime Minister even though I'm a Remainer.
- He's as thick as mince
- He's as lazy as a toad
- He's as vain as Narcissus
Britain's Trump does indeed have all of these qualities in abundance, and like his new BFF he's going to lose friends and alienate people to the point where even his own party will disown him. Let's take it from the top.
Thick as mince
Johnson's ignorance begins with his attitude to Johnny Foreigner. Like all bigots he tends to lump people together under the same banner. These gross generalisations have led him to brand Islam as a menace that holds the Middle East back from development.
"There must be something about Islam that indeed helps to explain why there was no rise of the bourgeoisie, no liberal capitalism and therefore no spread of democracy in the Muslim world," he wrote in an essay unearthed by the Guardian.
In the essay, titled 'And Then Came the Muslims', he also said "Muslim grievance" played a role in most if not all global conflicts. - 'Utter ignorance': Boris Johnson claimed Islam set Muslim world 'centuries behind' - SBS News
Why, it's almost as if Western imperialism, neoliberalism, and continual interference in global affairs had nothing to do with it. I don't recall Muslim grievance playing a role in the First and Second World wars. Even the ones going on today are carrying on from where Western imperialism left off; the "divide and conquer" strategy worked a bit too well. Stupefying ignorance, much?
Lazy as a toad
Boris is a "big picture" kind of guy, cavalier in his approach to All The Things. Honestly, as his record attests, he's more madness than method.
Ben Rooney, one of Johnson’s former colleagues at The Daily Telegraph... [says] “Getting him to do work that he didn’t want to do was difficult. He was absolutely uninterested in detail, so you had to check his copy carefully as it would be full of minor mistakes. The big-picture stuff he would get correct, but the detail was often sketchy at best. Names and dates would be wrong. You got the impression that he was simply remembering it, rather than researching.”
Rooney stressed that his experience of Johnson was “a long time ago… and we all change,” but his description seems to be a near-exact match for much more recent experiences, and in jobs where Johnson’s lack of care for details resulted in worse problems than a stray name or date here or there. - Boris Johnson Is Lazy and Will Be a Terrible Prime Minister, Say His Ex-Colleagues, by Jamie Ross for the Daily Beast
Who could forget the ridiculous Garden Bridge project, which died ingloriously on the field of reality?
Some media outlets, including the Observer and the Architects’ Journal, consistently pointed out the flaws in the trust’s case – its over-optimistic view of both fundraising and costs, for example – for which we were rubbished by supporters of the bridge. Johnson claimed, without evidence, that the AJ’s determined and methodical reporter Will Hurst was motivated by personal dislike of [bridge designer] Heatherwick (who trousered £2.76m of public money). - An absurd vanity project for our age – Boris Johnson’s garden bridge, by Rowan Moore for The Guardian
Even more stupidly, he flew to San Francisco to ask Apple to pay for it, promising to call it the Apple Bridge. Computer said no. This is what happens when you don't pay attention to fine details. This is the exact thing that will bring Brexit — and his premiership — crashing down in flames. Remember that exchange with Italian economic development minister? Carlo Calenda shot Boris down with this memorable quip:
"I said, 'Maybe we're going to lose some Prosecco; you're going to lose some fish and chips exports. The difference is I'm going to lose [exports] to one country, you to 27.'" - Boris Johnson attacked over 'Prosecco insult' - BBC News
Vain as Narcissus
Boris's vanity knows no bounds. He hates being called to account when the projects he champions crash and burn, even though he could have saved himself a lot of bother if he just listened to people he disagrees with. He has surrounded himself with yes men (and women) who are on board for Brexit, even if it means leaving the EU without a deal. Whereas he might have a generator ready for the rolling blackouts that might follow losing ten percent of our electricity (which comes via cable from France and Belgium), the rest of us won't be so lucky. The status of EU residents like myself has yet to be settled and of course there's the drugs and perishable foods we also import. But this is the man who famously said, "**** business," so I don't think he'll care. Boris gets what Boris wants or Boris walks away blaming others for his failures.
What will happen next?
As the year turned, I predicted:
The Government will try to stave off collapse as it tries to keep HMS Brexit afloat but will keep a close eye on the right wing press for cues. When the right wing press finally admits it's a lost cause, Theresa May will put her Withdrawal Agreement up for debate in Parliament, which will kill it with ire. Labour will then table a vote of no confidence in the Government to force a general election which will result in a narrow win for Labour, which will have to go into coalition to form a government. Internal wrangling may sabotage this, resulting in yet another shambolic hung Parliament with another coalition ruled by the Tories.
...Should the May government continue, the cumulative effects of their austerity policies will begin to be noticed by the right wing press. This is already happening; expect more criticism of the Tories' abusive policies. They may well swing sharp left in order to stave off defeat in the next election. - Here Comes 2019, Hang On To Your Hats!, by Wendy Cockcroft for On t'Internet
I was nearly right. The Withdrawal Agreement proved so toxic it was rejected three times with no chance of a resurrection. Our Tess was forced out of office by her own party and now Boris Johnson has got the job he always wanted, but it's a poisoned chalice. May's red lines have been established as the no-go areas of negotiation. Unfortunately they violate EU trade rules and mean that there can be no agreement but the one negotiated with the Maybot unless Boris is willing to remain in the customs union, which would put him in conflict with the arch Brexiteers. I called it wrong in the second paragraph; the party has swung harder to the right, with the most right-wing Thatcherites in the highest offices. They're apparently preparing for a general election, which may happen if Labour can get enough no confidence votes. It's what they've been working towards all year, and Boris may very well give it to them on a silver platter.
Hang on to your hats, people, it's going to be a rough ride as this year proves to be the game-changer I expected it to be.
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